Ephemeral
by Kutsu
Summary: Sometimes you want to shut everything out, lock yourself inside your own solitude. Sometimes you fail to see those who are there, who'll do what it takes to break the barriers you set between yourself and humanity. Sasunaru.


**I'm back people. With one evening to type and post this, since my computer's getting confiscated again in the morning. Run-for-the-skies, I'm sorry, but I don't have time for regular beta-ing, so if you spot mistakes in this, please mention them to me and I'll fix things. Sorry I didn't send it to you first, but time's playing against me.**

**Black plot bunny, guys. Holidays piss me off. Yeah, I'm weird, I know.**

**Warning: Some pain infliction. Not too much, hopefully, though there's a tiny bit of blood. Don't sue me.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.**

* * *

The office door opened, and the two figures entered silently.

"Ah, Itachi, there you are." Fugaku Uchiha smiled at his oldest son, sighing. "I still don't understand why you go through so much trouble," he informed the tallest of the two. "Sasuke's old enough to come home by himself."

Itachi said nothing, lips spreading into a thin, polite smile. Next to him, his younger sibling remained still, staring at the floor.

The scene was almost a ritual to the three of them. First, Fugaku would thank his eldest son. Then he would comment on the futility of his actions. And turn towards Sasuke.

"I don't know what you're trying to do," the man said, his voice suddenly cold. "You're worrying everyone pointlessly, and wasting your brother's time. Do you think he enjoys fetching you every time you decide to disappear?"

And Sasuke wouldn't reply. Wouldn't look up. He'd stopped fighting. He'd stopped long ago.

"Father, I believe I'm old enough to make my own choices," Itachi said quietly. "Please don't use me as an argument."

"Of course, son." The tone was soft again. "Forgive me."

Perfect Itachi. He always pleased, never stepped out of line. So perfect, his parents, hell, the entire clan would forgive him anything. So perfect, Sasuke would never be capable of outshining him. So perfect, even, that he could never draw hate to himself. Not even from his brother.

"I would like this to stop," Fugaku then added, once more cool. "I'm tired of the commotion you cause every time you come back. I'm tired of these little reunions, which obviously do nothing to change your behavior-" He halted as onyx orbs suddenly snapped up. But Sasuke didn't speak. "What is it?" the adult snapped impatiently.

_When have you ever sent anyone to find me?_

The question was unspoken, and the eyes lowered again. Not looking at Fugaku, not looking at Itachi.

_When have you ever tried to understand?_

Sasuke didn't care about the answers. He knew them well. But he wasn't at all certain his father did.

"Speak or leave," Fugaku sighed. "I'm tired of you."

_Tired?_

"Father…" The warning came too late. Sasuke wordlessly turned heels, and stormed out of the office, hearing his brother call after him.

"Leave him be, son," came Fugaku's voice. "Maybe if you stop spoiling him he might come to his senses. And it's almost dark. He won't go far."

_Just to prove you wrong-_

The midnight-haired teenager broke into a run, ignoring the stares, closing refusing to look at anything but his path to freedom.

Air slapped at his face, harshly. He ran. The sky was darker than expected; the sun was hidden by the black clouds looming overhead, and night was rapidly falling. He ran. The ground under his feet was dirt at first, then switched to concrete as he stepped onto the road. He ran. He knew his brother wouldn't follow him immediately, wondered if he'd do it at all. He ran. Itachi, even Itachi couldn't openly defy the head of the Uchiha clan. He ran, and ran, and ran.

Finally the rain fell. Harsh and continuous, it soaked his clothes, the ground, the trees, in a matter of minutes.

_Not just the rain._

Light suddenly flared above, and he threw his head up. The sky was lit, dark and beautiful, for a split-second as a bolt of lightning snaked across the darkness of the heavens. The deafening thunderclap that resonated throughout the entire land an instant later brought a fierce smile to his lips. Now he was free.

People had hurried indoors, leaving the streets empty and dark. No one to stop him. He ran under the thundering sky, beneath the water, feeling completely exposed. The clouds roared, and he felt the cries echo within his soul, demanding freedom. But he wouldn't make a sound.

Elements fell harshly upon the land. Matching his fury, matching his rage. The sky screamed, voicing what he could never allow himself to reveal. Chained to the ground, he felt his soul soar, fusing wildly with the storm, echoing all around him. He was alive. For once in his life, he was alive.

The forest wasn't far out. He knew it well, and didn't hesitate when he reached its edges.

Sound only intensified. Hundreds of drops falling on leaves, on branches, on the ground, and the thunderclaps overhead drowned out any unwanted sounds. Human sounds. The ground was muddy, slightly slippery. Ignoring the branches that slapped his face, the thorns clinging at his legs, he headed further inside the trees' depth, running away, far away, as far away as he could find, away, away, away from the hated world.

The clearing soon came into view. The ground he was on was steeped, flattening where the trees stopped. A wide, circular surface circled by the rest of the forest and nothing more. Its surface was almost smooth, undulating softly against the wind. The rain had stopped.

Almost brusquely, the sky cleared, allowing the moon to light the scene before him. He halted in his tracks, gravely resting his eyes upon the shimmering surface that lay at the center of the forest. The silver lake appeared slowly, but did not vanish. The storm was over.

He was soaked, but the night was warm. Removing his shirt and twisting it to remove the water, he sat down on one of the rocks protruding from the dirt ground, and sighed.

Storm was over, and he was exhausted. Perhaps his thoughts wouldn't surface in his state. Absentmindedly playing with the pebbles on either side of him, he stared at the silvery surface laying before his eyes.

Nature was ephemeral. The beauty it possessed was as well. But at least it was there. He'd discovered this place two years ago, after his father had sent him out. Out of his office, out of the house? He'd never guessed Fugaku's true intentions on that day. But he'd taken the second option.

No one had found him. Not even Itachi. No one went this deep into the forest; children were told since birth that the place hosted all kinds of monsters and, when they grew a little, psychopaths and rapists. But there was nothing. He'd come back, unharmed but for the multiple scratches his trip had caused him. Unharmed and more thrilled than he'd been in years. He'd found a sanctuary.

His eyes swept across the shimmering surface, towards the opposite edge. He had gone much further, in the past. The forest spread for several miles before humanity imposed its law once more. But there were only freeways; no one could see him if he remained behind the trees.

Itachi had never found him here. Perhaps his brother knew. Knew how he considered the place, and had not wanted to step inside his brother's personal territory. Sasuke had no other place of his own.

As an Uchiha, he was expected to be perfect. It was only natural, after all. And not that hard. But he'd never been as perfect as Itachi. There were two kinds of perfection; first, the one designed for those exterior to the clan. Any proper Uchiha had that one; good looks, much-higher-than-average intelligence, proficiency in any sport or activity proposed, ease in speech, perfect manners, and so on.

And then there was inner-clan perfection. The one that so far, only Itachi had reached. It always had to be Itachi. He pleased all. He did everything exactly the way people expected of him, and more. He grasped power with a delicate ease, and never ceased to impress all the members of the clan. He succeeded at everything he tried. He'd pleased Fugaku Uchiha.

Sasuke, on the other hand, had proved to his father that his first son's perfection had been a sole matter of hazard. Not to be repeated with the second.

He wasn't an oddity in the clan. Compared to his cousins, to anyone his age, and even some of his elders, he was brilliant, by Uchiha standards. But no one had ever compared him to anyone but Itachi. And the contrast, sadly, was striking.

His heart tightened. Straightening abruptly, he let his fingers clench, suddenly furious. Feeling the digits close around some of the rocks, he seized the sharpest one, and brutally brought it against the skin of his opposite arm. A line of fire flared, and he repeated the action, again, and again.

He knew he wouldn't bleed -the stone was nowhere near sharp enough-, knew he wouldn't keep any trace of his work. The skin would redden, flare for several minutes, setting his arm on fire. But everything faded. Pain, real pain, was ephemeral.

He let his entire mind focus on the irritated limb. Away from the rest. Away from another pain, located much deeper within him, one which he couldn't stop. Couldn't even explain.

_Pain is physical._

Could only be caused by physical matters. The one he fled was illogical. Diffused, impossible to grasp. Eternal.

The hand and stone came down again. Another line of fire. Real pain. One he could feel freely, explain without problem. One he was allowed to feel. And down again.

Shuffling behind him.

Something collided into his side, a bright blur despite the darkness. A human body.

The two of them rolled down, stopping thanks to one of the trees implemented in their path. Once they were still, Sasuke looked up, frowning before he recognized the figure before him.

"Naruto?"

The blond only glared. His blue eyes shone fiercely, and his soaked hair was as wild-looking as usual. Wordlessly, he leaned down to Sasuke's collarbone, and bit harshly into the skin.

"What are you-" The raven-haired teenager winced; Naruto wasn't holding back. "Stop it," he growled, vainly trying to push the other teen off. "Stop it!" He twisted, but the teeth only sunk deeper into his skin. This time he cried out.

Naruto released him, backing away to avoid the kicking feet, and met the Uchiha's furious glare squarely.

"What the hell is _wrong_ with you?" Sasuke asked, clutching his skin. Blood trickled slowly from beneath his fingers, scarce, but present.

"I could ask you the same question." The blond's voice was low, but did little to hide his own anger. "Pain," he finally stated, louder than before. "It's what you wanted, isn't it?"

Shoving his head to the side, Sasuke didn't answer.

"What the hell are you dong here?" Naruto asked, furious. "You know what time it is? Your parents must be looking all over for you!"

"Somehow I doubt that," the other teen replied icily. "Which is precisely why I don't care."

Naruto froze. "You can't say that," he said, his expression pained. "I called your brother when I saw you run off. He was worried."

"He told you to follow me, I suppose." The tone was cynical.

"He told me not to follow you if you went inside the forest," the blond replied hotly. "But I'm not letting you in there alone after nightfall."

There was a cold snort. "There's nothing _dangerous_ here, idiot. Or it would've gotten me much earlier than now."

"I'm not afraid of something out there harming you," Naruto said. "I'm afraid of you harming yourself." He approached. "You won't achieve anything by just running away, Sasuke."

"What do you want me to do?" the dark-haired teen suddenly shouted. "Do you even know? Don't you think I've already tried to get around my problems? Tried to face them? Thanks for your advice, genius, tell me not to run away! Brilliant! What the hell do you want me to do?"

They stared at each other for several seconds. Then the Uchiha looked away, furious of his outburst.

"You don't know anything about me," he spat angrily. "So keep your advice to yourself."

"I'm sorry." And before Sasuke could do anything about it, Naruto pulled him into a tight hug, burying his face into the wounded shoulder. The Uchiha winced. "I'm sorry I don't understand," the blond said, his voice tight. "I'm sorry I didn't beat the shit out of you before to make you spit it all out, instead of letting you do this to yourself. I'm sorry I left you by yourself." His clutch tightened, and his dissimulated face did nothing to hide the tears trickling down on his friend's shoulder.

Sasuke sighed, forcing his anger away. Despite everything, the blond's grief was the most disarming thing he'd come across. "I'm fine, idiot," he muttered.

"No you're not," Naruto moaned. "You're not and I didn't even realize it until it was too late."

"I'm not dead," the other teen remarked flatly. "I haven't tried suicide or anything."

"Don't say that!" Fingers dug into Sasuke's shoulder. "Don't say that kind of thing! Ever!"

"Naruto, they're not even _cuts_-"

"You hurt yourself!" the blond suddenly screamed, glaring up through his tears. "Why would you hurt yourself? Why should you have any reason to do this kind of thing?"

Onyx eyes met grieving azure, unsure. Then looked away.

"I don't know."

"You know," Naruto replied furiously. "You know and you're afraid to tell." He wiped his face. "Can't you trust me?"

"I…" Sasuke hesitated. Now was a time where he wished he could communicate without need for words. There was no way to explain what he wanted. "It seemed like the most logical thing to do." He paused. "Make the pain real," he then added, looking up.

Naruto didn't answer. Instead, he plunged back into Sasuke's arms, holding him as tightly as his arms would allow. He said nothing, burying his face back into the other teen's shoulder, fighting furiously to hold back his sobs.

Sasuke remained still at first. Hesitant. Then, slowly, he let his arms wrap around the shaking body, desperate to bring some kind of comfort to the blond.

"Why are you crying?" he asked after several minutes.

Naruto didn't answer immediately. He let his shaking ease out momentarily to keep his voice from trembling, and grumbled in reply. "Because you obviously can't."

What was that supposed to mean?

Why was his chest aching again? His hold on the body above him tightened, and he bit his lip, none too gently. Naruto imitated his gesture, and muscles contracted desperately, seeking comfort.

_Comfort?_

Perhaps he needed it. Perhaps it was what he had sought for so long. Naruto was here. Naruto had trespassed all his barriers, entered the deepest part of his sanctuary, and had thoroughly ignored the norm. He'd done more than paid attention. He'd come.

A hand pushed his head forward. His eyes closed and pressed against tan skin, humid for some reason.

_Crying?_

No one would see. Naruto had made sure of that. The blond let him know he could, let him know he wouldn't be watched. Tears barely spilled, silent as the night, but he could never deny them. And suddenly he was relieved.

Something was pressing against the wound on his collarbone. Something soft. Lips. He looked up, and to his side. Naruto raised his head.

"I didn't want to hurt you," he said darkly. His voice was controlled again. "But when I saw you, I just-"

Sasuke shook his head. "Don't apologize." Gently he placed a finger upon the mark. "I'll keep it as a reminder."

_That you're here._

Naruto nodded. "Still, it wasn't what I wanted to do."

An eyebrow arched. "What did you want to do?"

"This." Softly, the blond pressed his lips against the mark again. "And this." The head rose, slightly, and the lips brushed the skin just below Sasuke's ear. "And…" Naruto stopped, facing the raven-haired teen. "This."

Smoothly, slowly, he leaned forward, and met Sasuke in midair. Lips crashed against one another, and Naruto slammed forward, bringing them to the ground once more. They rolled down, and down and down, until the slope lessened, gradually bringing them to a stop. Neither pulled back, silently accepting the other's embrace.

Above, clouds shifted, passed. Naruto pulled back, gently, straightening. Relieved from the weight, Sasuke sat up, gazing curiously into the azure orbs. Tainted with silver, thanks to the light.

"We still need to go back," Naruto whispered.

He frowned, then nodded. Reluctant, but of course it didn't show. They got to their feet, and Naruto chuckled.

"You look like shit," he remarked. "Your dad's going to kill you."

Sasuke shrugged. "If I'm lucky he won't notice me until tomorrow," he replied. "He barely sees me outside meals." He paused, his face somber. "Do me a favor and don't talk about him here."

Naruto nodded. "It doesn't fit the place," he said. "Your brother's fine?"

Sasuke shrugged, and they began walking back towards the edge of the forest.

"You'll bring me here again, won't you?" Naruto asked once human lights came into view. "The night's pretty and all, but I'd like to visit the place during the day. With you, of course."

Sasuke snorted. "Whenever you want. It's not like I'm needed at home."

"Tomorrow, then? After lunch?" The voice was suddenly exited. Innocent.

Sasuke smiled. He hadn't done this in a long time, he realized. That, or look forward to the next day. But now he did. "Sure," he said gruffly.

Itachi's car came into view before its owner. The tall man stood underneath a big pine, his folded umbrella partly supporting his upper body. He straightened once he saw the two of them.

None spoke as they all entered the car, and drove to the blond's house, where his anxious parents awaited him. As he stepped out, he turned once more. "Tomorrow, promise?" he asked again. "I want to see that lake again."

Sasuke shook his head. "Not the lake," he said. "There are other things. Meet me at the edge of the forest."

Naruto nodded, and with a last bright smile, he closed the car door.

Itachi drove silently for a while. His face remained expressionless, and his younger sibling shifted uneasily. Perhaps things should change.

"Itachi-"

"I know when to keep my mouth shut, little brother," was the soft, immediate reply. As always, the eldest Uchiha seemed to read Sasuke's mind.

"You won't tell them?"

"I never did for myself," came the casual reply.

Onyx eyes suddenly widened. "You-"

Itachi sighed, slightly impatient. "Sasuke, did you honestly believe I went to _work_ on Friday nights?" he asked.

The teenager blinked. "No," he replied honestly. Itachi maybe was perfect, but everyone had secrets. "But I had thought it was more serious than…that. Why hide it?"

His brother chuckled. "Father sees only the differences, but there is one thing we do have in common," he remarked. Dexterously, he removed a picture from his breast pocket, and handed it to Sasuke. "Our preference for the wrong gender."

It was a man. His hair was completely white, despite the fact that he looked no older than his lover, and he grinned lazily at the camera, his hand half-raised in greeting. Sasuke stared at it for several seconds, then at his brother, then down again.

"What's his name?" he then asked.

"Kakashi Hatake," Itachi replied. "He doesn't live far from here. Father knows him."

"He knows-"

"He doesn't have a clue of what's going on." Itachi's voice was suddenly cynical. "Despite all the extra attention I get. He sees only what he wants."

Sasuke observed his brother. Itachi rarely let his emotions surface, knowing what potential danger they carried. This was different.

"I trust you with my secret the same way you'll trust me with yours," the man remarked. "That way we can be sure no tongue will slip."

His sibling nodded quietly.

"You wanted to add something?" Itachi inquired.

Sasuke didn't answer immediately. Then-

"I'm sorry."

Itachi raised an elegant eyebrow. "For what?"

"For making you worry."

There was a pause. Then the elder sibling sighed. "Next time, tell me when you intend to come back," he said simply.

Sasuke nodded. "Around nightfall, for tomorrow," he said. And stayed silent.

The mansion came into view, and his lips tightened. But instinctively, he reached for the bite mark at the bottom of his throat.

_You're here._

Naruto would be there tomorrow. He had nothing more to fear. Itachi smiled thinly as they entered the driveway, and suddenly came to realize something.

"There's no lake registered in that forest," he remarked, turning to his brother. "What was Naruto talking about?"

Sasuke shrugged. "The tall grass clearing, near the center of the forest," he replied evenly. "Everything's at the same level; with little light and wind, you can easily mistake it for water."

"And you didn't tell him?"

He shook his head. "Why should he know?"

Itachi didn't answer as they got out, and let his smile spread, slightly.

Sasuke lifted his eyes, up, up, and stared at the moon. His coal irises shimmered in silver, and he sighed.

_Beauty is ephemeral._

…

_Hope is everlasting._

* * *

**I'm pissed. And tired. And yes, I know I should be working on other stuff (almost finished the sequel, onee-chan). But one had to get out of my head. **

**Sigh...Tell me what you think.**


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